I find that most people get bored with sex because they haven’t learned how to go deep with sex. In the beginning, the attraction and the turn on is so potent that getting excited doesn’t take much. But as you get to know one another, playing at the “surface” loses its spark. You start to crave something that has more substance, as you should.

For sex to be good and to remain interesting, you need to learn to cultivate depth in your connection. It’s not about what you do, but how you do it.

You can do the same things again and again, (and you will over the years, for sure!) and have each experience be different and rich in the quality of your being.

Start with these simple, and powerful steps:

1. Take 10 minutes to sit or lie together and connect. Get quiet; look into each other’s eyes. Let your hearts and brains synchronize. (This eliminates all the time you’ll otherwise spend trying to get into sync).

2. Whatever you are doing, keep your focus on breathing your body. Let the breath be an anchor and a focus. (This keeps your mind quiet, and your body more alive). Men, if you experience anxiety, this is a powerful remedy!

3. Drop goals, such as orgasm, and timing, and trying to look a certain way, and fall into a deep presence with breath. Let go of trying to get somewhere or achieve anything. You’ll be amazed at how alive your body will feel and how free you will feel to experience something new!

By Karen Brody, all copyrights reserved, 2009